An evil gang of swans is terrorizing villagers

An evil pair of swans have been ‘terrorizing’ the townspeople of Gloucestershire, England — and there's nothing anybody can do about it.

The tormenting team has been ruthless in their quest for destruction — attacking kids, chasing postmen, vandalizing cars and property — generally wreaking havoc and making the villagers’ lives a living nightmare.

According to an old British law penned in the 12th Century, swans are officially protected by the British Monarchy and thus are exempt from punishment.

Elderly residents living in a nearby residential park said they feared the swans’ wrath so much, at times they were too scared to even leave the house.

"I’m scared to leave the house at times," resident Angela Helbrow, 53, told Metro UK.

Helbrow lives next to the river where the swans hang out and intimidate locals.

"I can’t even go outside to hang up the washing anymore,” Helbrow said. “I was doing my knitting last week and they came right up from the river to the patio doors and began pecking on the window.”

The severity of the situation has gotten so bad that locals have begun to arm themselves with water pistols, garden hoses, and shovels, to fend off the sinister sownder of swans.

"I think the entire community would like to see these swans moved to a more suitable location. I’m sure we and the swans would benefit," local Barbara Morse, 66, said.

A spokesman for the swans' stomping ground said that their perilous attitude is partly to do with mating season.

"For ten months of the year, they are perfectly OK. It is just nature taking its course," he said.

"What can you do? They are protected birds. There is nothing we can do," he said.

Pope Francis to make acting debut in spiritual movie, becomes first pope to do so

His Holiness is coming to a theater near you.

Pope Francis is set to making his movie debut in a religious family movie called “Beyond the Sun,” Variety magazine reported.

The role will be the first film appearance for a head of the global Catholic church.

The pontiff will play himself in the feature film — from Rome-based distribution and production company Ambi Pictures — about family adventures based on the Gospels.

“Our excitement and gratitude toward His Holiness, Pope Francis participating in this film is beyond words,” AMBI co-founder Andrea Lervolino told the magazine.

While originally reported to feature significantly in the film, AMBI’s site only says it will feature “an epilogue from Pope Franis telling children how and where to find Jesus.”

Additionally, a spokesman for the Vatican told the Guardian, “the pope is not an actor.”

The news of the spiritual film comes after the Pope asked movie makers to find ways to communicate Jesus’ message to children.

The story will focus on children of various cultures who “emulate the apostles” as they search for Jesus in their world, AMBI said on their site.

All profits from the family movie will be donated to two Argentinian charities for at-risk children and young adults.

The film is expected to begin production soon in Italy.



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Wenger on the attack after Gunners misfire

Arsene Wenger shrugged off criticism that he should have signed a world-class goalscorer in the January transfer window despite acknowledging that Arsenal’s finishing has been rather poor in recent weeks.

The Arsenal manager cut a frustrated figure at the Emirates Stadium on Tuesday as the Gunners created plenty of chances in a 0-0 draw with Southampton, but ultimately were denied on numerous occasions by the sheer brilliance of Saints goalkeeper Fraser Forster.

It has often been said that, in pursuit of winning a first Premier League title since 2004, the north London club should have invested heavily in a proven striker.

Wenger, though, batted away such claims after his side fell to fourth place, five points behind leaders Leicester.

“If you had found a world-class striker, who could have strengthened the team, then you should have told me,” he said.

“Believe me, they do not walk in (off) the street and say: ‘I am a world-class striker’.

“They are already at a big club and under contract and not available. We have Walcott, Giroud, Ozil, Sanchez and Welbeck, who is coming back.

“Tonight, I don’t think that a miracle man would have come in and scored for us. As a team, we can score goals.

“I don’t like to say it was one of those nights. We are all disappointed because we had enough chances to win the game.

“The most disappointing thing is that some players missed chances that they usually take.

“Our finishing is very poor at the moment. We have played three Premier League games now without scoring a goal.

“Forster had a brilliant game. But you’d expect that. The rate and quality of chances created was high for a Premier League game but the quality of finishing was poor.

“Finishing is a bit cyclical, up and down at the moment. It’s very down for us now.

“We have a difficult programme, especially away from home, but we need to respond.”

– Magic –
Southampton manager Ronald Koeman paid tribute to Forster, who kept his fourth successive clean sheet since returning from a knee injury last month.

“Our goalkeeper is magic and he was magic tonight,” Koeman said.

“It’s always difficult when you are out for more than nine months. Knowing you need rhythm and games.

“But since coming back he was the same. Credit to the medical staff and credit to Fraser.

“He is one of the best goalkeepers in the Premier League and maybe one of the best in Europe.”

Koeman was quick to admit that his team had enjoyed their fair share luck given the sheer amount of chances created by Arsenal.

But he emphasised how well Southampton have played away to the supposedly prominent Premier League clubs.

“Not one team in my one-and-a-half years managing Southampton created what Arsenal created against us,” he said.

“So you need to be lucky first and you need to have a goalkeeper who is saving everything and that’s maybe what explained what happened.

“Normally it’s more difficult for opponents to create that many chances against us.

“We didn’t play well but we had unbelievable spirit. In the counter-attacking, we didn’t have the quality.

“But to get one point away to Arsenal, three points at Manchester United, to beat Chelsea away, one point against Liverpool at Anfield is amazing, a dream for a club like Southampton.”

Koeman revealed that his new striker Charlie Austin suffered a “knock” on the eve of the match.

But the recent signing from QPR should be available for the home match with West Ham on Saturday.

“It was risky in my opinion to put him on the pitch. It’s not a serious injury,” he said.

“Normally he’ll be available. If you know his past, he had been out for five or six weeks.

“So I’d prefer to wait one week to ensure the player is back.”

With The Guardian

Fake priest accused of pocketing cash from parishioners for Pope Francis trip

A man of the cloth has been accused pooling the wool over the eyes of parishioners and making off with their money.

Erwin Mena was arrested Tuesday after allegedly pretending to be a priest for decades and selling bogus trips to New York and Philadelphia for the visit of Pope Francis.

He had celebrated Masses, funerals, marriages and heard confessions around California since first posing as an ordained servant of God in the mid-1990s, according to prosecutors.

Police say the 59-year-old clergy con also had a habit of fleecing his flock and others out of their money, including more than $15,000 from more than 24 people who wanted to travel to the East Coast for the pontiff’s visit in September.

He now faces 22 felony counts and eight misdemeanors including filing a false marriage license, grand theft and practicing medicine without a license, according to the Los Angeles Times.

An arrest warrant said that the medicine charge came from offering “a system or mode of treating the sick.”

St. Ignatius of Loyola, the site of the latest alleged Francis-focused swindle, was only the latest in a series of churches of where Mena would appear only to miraculously vanish when he had pocketed cash.

“He has time to escape. He never come back. He never do any Mass again,” the attendee of one church told Fox LA.

Mena, who convinced pastors at different parishes that they did not need to check his official “faculties” letting him perform services, would also sell a faith-based video for $25 and accepted a $16,000 loan to make a video about the Pope.

The prolific padre also has put out several eBooks, including one about his “irreverant confessions” where he discusses celibacy.

Other churches put out a warning that Mena was a fraud last summer, around the time the Archdiocese of Los Angeles contacted the LAPD.

The city’s church officials said they placed Mena on a list of unauthorized priests in 2008, and has reimbursed some of the victims who bought into the September pope trip.

Spokeswoman Doris Benavides told the Times that those who received sacraments from Mena could go through the ceremonies again.

SEXWALE TO SEEK CAF SUPPORT TO REVIVE FIFA PRESIDENTIAL BID

Fifa presidential candidate Tokyo Sexwale will seek continent-wide support in a final bid to revive his ailing election campaign at a meeting of African football leaders on Friday.

Sexwale was grilled on Tuesday by high-ranking officials of his home South African Football Association (Safa), who had earlier endorsed his candidacy in the race to replace Sepp Blatter.

Safa wanted answers about Sexwale’s election tactics and the unconvincing progress of his campaign after they had backed his bid for the presidency and helped him obtain the five nominations needed to stand to replace Blatter.

Safa president Danny Jordaan called Sexwale’s report to them “comprehensive” but said they would only comment further after a meeting of officials of the Confederation of African Football (Caf)in Kigali, Rwanda, on Friday, in what will be Sexwale’s final opportunity to win support before the 26 February election.

Failure to land an endorsement from African football’s governing body is likely to stall Sexwale’s bid in its tracks.

There had been some media reports that dissatisfaction with his campaign was such that he might be asked to withdraw his candidacy on Tuesday but they proved unfounded.

Sexwale is a former political prisoner who was jailed alongside Nelson Mandela and served as Premier of Gauteng province, South Africa’s economic heartland, and later as a cabinet minister in South Africa. He also proved successful in mining and other businesses.

Yet he is an outsider in the five-man race to become football’s global leader.

He faces UEFA secretary general Gianni Infantino, Asian Football Confederation president Sheikh Salman Al Khalifa, former Fifa vice president Prince Ali Bin Al Hussein and the long-odds outsider, Jerome Champagne.



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