9 Mistakes Singles and Newly-Weds Need To Avoid!

If you are about to get married or recently got married, I would like to say congrats and welcome you and your spouse to a whole new world, a whole new life. Do you know why? Newlyweds are like fresh students who just got admission into a university. At first, you feel so happy that you have gotten the admission and that you have arrived. But when the courses starts, the assignments, seminars e.t.c, you then tend to dislike the university and can’t wait to graduate. The same applies to marriage.

The journey of marital life can be very rosy as partners are bound to make mistakes even if they’ve made commitment to each other till death on the altar. Understanding these mistakes made by newlyweds will afford you the opportunity of avoiding them if you plan on getting married soon. Trust me, marriage is the best union ever because it is based on trust, tolerance, understanding, sacrifice and God. Below are some avoidable mistakes made by newlyweds and tips on how to overcome them.

1. Failing to Plan for Life after Wedding

Most couples get carried away by the wedding plans, the wedding proper and other events attached to the wedding that they forget that all these ends in just one day. Some even put all their resources for the wedding forgetting that marital life starts after the wedding fun. After the wedding, you have to live together, tolerate each other and plan your family. Couples should always plan for life after the wedding even before the wedding because couples that fail to plan, plan to fail. Though make your wedding a memorable one but do not put all your resources for the wedding.

2. Not Understanding what Marriage is

Some couples do not understand what marriage is all about and just walk into it as If to think that marriage is a bed of roses or an avenue to enjoy each other. Marriage is far from it. Though, there would be times for enjoyment but there are also hard times which couples have to undergo. Many couples rush into marriage and later rush out from it. The ability of couples to be able to overcome hard times and challenges are what helps in solidifying marital relationship. Before you jump into marriage, seek advice from parents, priest, pastors, or an expert as the case may be to better understand the kind of life you are about to get into.

3. Trying to Change your Spouse

This is one of the biggest mistakes made by couples as they think marriage will automatically change the character of a spouse. Change is something that is constant and it takes time to happen. You married him or her because of love, so give that love a chance to reign in the marriage. Love is sacrifice. Accept the way your spouse is and give him or her room for improvement. Change is never automatic as trying to change the character of your spouse immediately may hurt his or her feelings and cause damage to your marriage.

4. Rushing into Making or Having Children

Children are beautiful gifts from God and having children shows the fruitfulness of the marriage. The problem here is that most couples just rush into having children without giving themselves enough time to be married to each other. Enjoy and spoil yourselves for a while and plan for children because when they come, focus and attention is being shifted from your spouse to your children. They become priority which you cannot hide from. So, have fun with yourselves and decide together when it’s best to have children.

5. Not Being on the Same Page with your In-laws

As with most African homes, not getting along with your in-laws before and after the wedding might send the wrong message to the family of the bride or groom. If the damage has been done, be the first to extend the hands of peace because the only person who gets all the insults and blame is your spouse, who might be caught off in the middle.

6. Acting like You are Still Single

As soon as you were pronounced husband and wife at the altar, that signaled the end of being both a bachelor and a spinster. The parties, hanging out with friends and all sorts that happened when you were single should either be minimized or stopped as you now have a responsibility to one another. As a married person, there are behaviours that should be dropped which are no longer appropriate. Always put your spouse first before anything. Learn to do what is right so as to take your marriage to greater heights.

7. Avoiding important discussions

No matter how couples try to run or meander their way from important issues, they just can’t shy away from them. Subjects like how to handle money, when to have children, planning for the children’s future and how to prepare for the unthinkable, i.e death e.t.c are paramount. All these and more are what shapes a marriage and should be dealt with. Discuss these issues with your spouse and seek advice if the issue requires you too.

8. Allowing Pride into the Relationship

Not all arguments can be won by husband or wife and taking responsibility and blame for a mistake, shows sign of maturity. Remember, pride is something that is in each human but the ability to let go is key to a successful marriage. Let the husband not say “since I am the man of the house, I will not do these or that” or the wife “since I am the wife, he should provide this or that”. Pride has destroyed many marital relationships. You must allow yourself to get softer and take responsibility for your actions.

9. Making lone decisions without consulting your spouse

Most couples forget that two heads are better than one when it comes to decision making. Maybe when you were single, you had the opportunity of making certain decisions like where to go after work, where to spend your vacation, how to spend your money and so on. Now you are married, those decisions are not for you alone to make. Taking decisions alone can put asunder in a marriage as these decisions also affect the spouse. It is best you take decisions together to have better understanding on how to go about a particular issue.

There are many more mistakes but I tried to highlight the major ones. Marriage is an institution that takes time to perfect itself and as I said earlier needs tolerance, understanding, sacrifice and God. Letting resentment build, denying your partner sex, being insensitive to your spouse’s feelings and not giving each other space are also mistakes one should avoid in building a successful marital life.

BY Chizoba Ikenwa

Native Doctor killed two men and buried them in his backyard.

A journey to a self-acclaimed native doctor has ended in a horrible way for two men in Kogi State in Nigeria’s central region, according to Channel News.

The native doctor, Mr Dan Asabe, who is a resident of Kungbani village in Lokoja Local Government Area of Kogi State was reported to have killed the men and buried them in his backyard.

The Special Anti-Robbery Squad of the Police in Kogi State are investigating how the two men were killed and buried by the suspect who is now in Police custody.

While recounting the hideous manner in which he killed the two men, Asabe said that the two men came to him to seek for protection against gunshots.

“After I did the work, (there was) no sign of the work and I did not know how to tell them that this work is not good again and I got confused. So I poisoned them and they died,” the suspect confessed, adding that he hastened their death by hitting them with a stick, in the report.

A local clinic operator, Ben Irewa, who was alleged to have sold the poison to the suspect denied vehemently, claiming that he gave Asabe drugs to cure his itching.

He added that he told the suspect to return to him if the itching persists in three days, saying that he never returned to him.

As the Police continue investigation into the case, they urged the residents to be watchful and report any suspicious activity in their environment to prevent similar occurrence.

MUYIWA JAMES (muyiwajames) want to connect with you on Follio

MUYIWA JAMES (muyiwajames) want to connect with you on Follio

Arsenal in a dramatic win as Welbeck scored the winner goal

Danny Welbeck's goal was his first for Arsenal in the league since December 2014

Danny Welbeck returned from injury to score a dramatic late winner as Arsenal closed the gap to Premier League leaders Leicester to two points.

The Foxes looked set to hold out for a vital draw as a thrilling game went into injury time, despite being reduced to 10 men after Danny Simpson was sent off for a second yellow card early in the second half.

This was until Welbeck, playing his first competitive game since April last year, glanced Mesut Ozil's free-kick past the magnificent Kasper Schmeichel to spark wild celebrations at Emirates Stadium as Leicester lost in the league for just the third time this season.

Jamie Vardy gave the Foxes the lead with a hotly-disputed penalty on the stroke of half-time after he tumbled over Nacho Monreal's outstretched leg.

Substitute Theo Walcott then set up a frantic final 20 minutes with a side-foot finish from Olivier Giroud's superb knockdown.

Leicester still lead the table - but Arsenal's win leaves them only two points clear.

In those closing seconds, with the Emirates awash with tension and anxiety, it looked like Leicester would secure a point that would feel like a victory to manager Claudio Ranieri and his players.

It would have been a draw achieved with a numerical disadvantage at the home of a title rival - and would have given them four precious points from visits to Manchester City and Arsenal.

Instead, Welbeck's intervention left Ranieri and his men desolate after an outstanding backs-to-the-wall performance, exemplified by the brilliance of keeper Schmeichel as he kept Arsenal at bay, with one late save from Giroud world-class especially notable.

Now they must bounce back at home to Norwich City in their next game - but why should we question them after what they have shown us this season?

As for Arsenal, this result will revive their title hopes as the impact will be just as dramatic for them. It would have felt like a defeat had they not beaten a Leicester side reduced to 10 men for 36 minutes.

So the title landscape has changed - but it is still Leicester at the top of the table.Now they must bounce back at home to Norwich City in their next game - but why should we question them after what they have shown us this season?

As for Arsenal, this result will revive their title hopes as the impact will be just as dramatic for them. It would have felt like a defeat had they not beaten a Leicester side reduced to 10 men for 36 minutes.

So the title landscape has changed - but it is still Leicester at the top of the table.

As Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger rightly said after the match, his team were looking down the barrel when they trailed at half-time.

At that point, they were eight points adrift of the Foxes with only 12 games left after this one - a daunting gap.

Walcott's equaliser and that injury-time winner from Welbeck, who has been out for almost a year with a knee injury, was reward for their persistence and effort in the second half.

It was not just vital in the context of this game, it was crucial in the wider context after a poor run of home form which had seen the Gunners fail to win in four league games - with three draws and a defeat - before last week's win at Bournemouth.

N'Golo Kante arrived at Leicester City in early August as an under-the-radar £6m signing from French side Caen - he should now be a contender for Player of the Year.

When Rio Ferdinand is moved to tweet, "right now Kante is the best tackler/retriever of the ball on the planet", you get some idea of just how good he was at the Emirates.

In the first 45 minutes in particular, the Paris-born 24-year-old gave a masterclass in the arts Ferdinand was talking about. While the likes of Vardy and Riyad Mahrez have rightly claimed the limelight, Kante has been just as influential in the manner in which he retains and regains possession, helping Leicester to set up those trademark counter-attacks.

Referee Martin Atkinson was left to handle a tidal wave of pressure and emotion, especially after awarding Leicester that penalty.

It was a tough call, with Vardy clearly accepting the invitation literally extended by Monreal's outstretched leg.

Vardy bought the penalty but it was understandable to see why he gave it - and it is worth noting former Arsenal legends Lee Dixon and David Seaman tweeted their agreement with the decision.

Arsenal fans were demanding every decision after that - and most supporters around the country would be the same - but Atkinson's decision to send Simpson off for two soft fouls was also correct.

It is not just players under stress on these occasions.

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger, speaking to BBC Sport: "The effort, energy, intensity was all good. Leicester defended very well but we had bad luck to be 1-0 down at half-time. We were relentless after that - we should have scored more goals.

"It was a pivotal moment today because the mathematics meant it could be eight points or it could be two points. That is a great change.

"There's a long way to go, we play a lot of big teams. But we had a bad spell where we couldn't win for four games and have now won two on the bounce. We have come out of that bad spell and still have a good chance."

Leicester boss Claudio Ranieri, speaking to Sky Sports: "It was a fantastic match, very fast. I don't know if in a normal match that our two yellows cards was a sending off. They were normal fouls, but not yellow cards. I think the referee was too severe to us for the sending off. 11 v 11, I'm sure we win the match. The match was full of fouls so why send off a player? Come on.

"We know Arsenal are a fantastic team, they move the ball quickly and have skill, but we had to concentrate. We tried to counter-attack and we controlled the match very well.

"We are still top of the table, got two points more - we must carry on and smile. We lost to our opponents - we must say well done."

Oil-producing nations were on a "very good path" as oil prices soar on hopes of Opec production cut

Oil prices surged as much as 12% on Friday after new suggestions that Opec nations were set to cut oil production.

The United Arab Emirates' energy minister said that Opec members were ready to reduce output, the Wall Street Journal reported.

Venezuela's oil minister said oil-producing nations were on a "very good path" to clinch a deal.

However, traders said sharp falls on Thursday may have triggered some bargain-hunting.

Eulogio Del Pino, the Venezuelan minister, who recently visited Russia and Saudi Arabia as part of a global tour to drum up support among both Opec and non-Opec producers, said "we're on a very, very, very good path" to reducing production.

Brent crude closed up $3.30 at $33.36 a barrel in New York after falling below $30 on Thursday.

After sinking to a 12-year low of $26.05 on Thursday, US crude settled up 12%, or $3.23, to $29.44 a barrel - its biggest one-day rise since 2009.

Many traders were sceptical about the Journal's report, pointing out that Venezuela and Russia had tried in vain earlier this week to stir Saudi Arabia and other major producers into agreeing to output cuts.

However, some believe that prices would rebound sooner or later if production tightened or demand rose.

Commerzbank analysts said: "We expect declining US oil production, in particular, to drive the oil price back up to $50 per barrel by the end of the year."

Some traders still expected wilder price swings in the coming weeks. "It's not a one-way price movement anymore" in oil, said ABN Amro's senior energy economist Hans van Cleef. "We will see a period of high volatility".

Friday's price rises were also aided by figures from oil services company Baker Hughes, which said that US energy firms cut the number of oil rigs for the eighth consecutive week to the lowest levels since January 2010.

Drillers removed 28 oil rigs, bringing the total rig count down to 439, Baker Hughes said.

The jump in oil prices helped to boost sentiment on stock markets, with the FTSE 100 in London closing 3.1% higher at 5,707 points.

Wall Street was also trading higher on Friday, with the S&P 500 rising 1.8% and the Dow Jones Industrial Average up close to 2% in late trading.