I am staying at Real Madrid - Ronaldo

Real Madrid forward Cristiano Ronaldo says he will not leave the club before his contract expires in 2018.

The 31-year-old Portugal captain has been continually linked with former club Manchester United, who sold him to Real in 2008, and Paris St-Germain.

"I want to stay here two more years. The two years I'm talking about take me to the end of my contract," he is quoted as saying by AS.

"And the future, we'll see."

Ronaldo was speaking at an event to collect his Pichichi trophy, which he won for being last season's La Liga top scorer with 48.

"This is the best league in the world, although I also played in the Premier League," he said.

"It's fantastic, competitive, and with great players. It is a privilege to leave my mark on it."

'I'm mostly wearing Chanel No. 5!' Gigi Hadid poses completely NUDE as shows off her supermodel body on her first French Vogue cover

She has enjoyed a meteoric rise to fame and become one of the fashions world's hottest players.

Now Gigi Hadid has sealed her supermodel credentials by sitting completely nude for her first cover of French Vogue.

The 20-year-old shows off her amazing figure in all its glory as she strikes a sultry pose for one of two shoots by photography duo Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott which will appear on the Parisian edition of the global fashion bible in March.

Maintaining her modesty in the tastefully shot black and white snap, Gigi covers her breasts with her one arm, while crossing her killer pins.

Joking about the racy cover shoot, the beauty took to Instagram to share the image with her 12.9 million Instagram followers, and joked that she was only wearing perfume.

She wrote: 'Here's the version where I'm wearing mostly Chanel N°5 ;) lol.'

Gigi also shared a more demure version of the cover, showing her slightly more covered up in just a Chanel jacket and reams of pearl necklaces.

Clean out your computer day: 10 easy tips to speed up your PC

Tired of your computer running at a snail’s pace? Here are a few simple tips for boosting the speed of your PC.

Clean it

An easy way to boost your PC’s performance is to simply clean inside it (very carefully). Dust, dirt and debris can clog up your computer’s fan and impede airflow, causing it to overheat.

It’s a good idea to open up your computer (when the PC is turned off) and give it a thorough clean using a small brush or vacuum, on a regular basis. This should help keep your computer running at an optimum speed.

A clean-up

Computer maintenance is recommended on a monthly basis. Disk defragmentation is the process of consolidating fragmented data on your hard disk so it works more efficiently.

If you use Windows, go to Start > Accessories > System Tools > Disk Cleanup > Disk Defrag.

Invest in a hard drive

External hard drives are a great way to store large volumes of data. Saving files on your computer eats into the space on your hard drive.

A hard drive that is 85 per cent full or more will affect your computer’s speed.

Shut down your browser tabs

Having too many browser tabs or programs open at once will put a strain on your computer’s RAM (Random Access Memory) and could cause your struggling-to-cope PC to slow.A hard drive that is 85 per cent full or more will affect your computer’s speed.

Shut down your browser tabs

Having too many browser tabs or programs open at once will put a strain on your computer’s RAM (Random Access Memory) and could cause your struggling-to-cope PC to slow.

RAM is in use when tasks are being executed by different programs. You can boost your RAM with a simple upgrade.

You can check your PC's RAM usage by opening the Windows Task Manager.

Uninstall unused programmes

You can free up space on your computer by uninstalling the programmes you rarely use.

This can be done on a PC simply by clicking on the Control Panel’s Programs and Features page.

Scan your computer

A virus can infect your computer and make it sluggish.

The best thing to do is run a malware virus scan using anti-virus software or by downloading a free tool. However an over-zealous anti-virus software can slow down your computer.

Updates

Let your PC automatically download and install essential updates without constantly bothering you with requests.

On Windows, go to My Computer > Properties > Automatic Updates. Make sure ‘Download and Install Automatically’ is ticked.

Updates can enhance the security and performance of your computer so fully shutting down your computer will also help keep it running smoothly.

Web browser

Cookies, which are files created by websites you've visited, are stored by your web browser.

It’s advised to periodically clear your browser history to avoid a build-up and help it run faster.

Go to ‘History’ menu on your browser and then click ‘clear browsing data’.

Restart your PC

“Restart your PC at least once a week, especially if you use it a lot,”  Microsoft explains.

“Restarting a PC is a good way to clear out its memory and ensure that any errant processes and services that started running get shut down.”

Speed up your startup

There’s a simple way to control how many programs load automatically when you turn on your computer.

Go to Start > Run and type in “msconfig” and then press Enter. From the Startup tab you can untick the programs you don’t want to automatically launch when you turn on your computer.

Whatever you do, don’t do what this guy did.

Woman who drank heavily for 40 years develops a BOOZE HUMP on her back and huge lumps on her neck and armsWoman who drank heavily for 40 years develops a BOOZE HUMP on her back and huge lumps on her neck and arms

A woman who had been an alcoholic for 40 years developed a massive hump on her back as a result of drinking.

Doctors who treated the 64-year-old were astounded to discover she had a so-called ‘buffalo hump’.

Her condition had initially left them baffled as the patient also had huge lumps all over her neck and arms.

As a last resort, they were forced search on the internet - and eventually diagnosed her with the rare illness Madelung disease.

Normally seen in male alcoholics, it causes fatty tumours called lipomas to form on the torso.

Describing her case in the journal BMJ Case reports, doctors at the Brooklyn Hospital Center said the patient arrived confused, unable to tell the time and with weak limbs.

After examining her, they were shocked to discover huge lumps all over her upper body.

‘At first glance, we noticed multiple swellings all over the body - around the neck, upper back and upper extremities, which were very peculiar to the medical team,’ they wrote in the journal.

Upon speaking to the patient, she recalled having suffered progressive muscle weakness for a year.

This had become so bad she had become barely able to leave the house, she explained.

She then admitted she had drunk heavily for 40 years, her last binge being around two weeks earlier.

Blood tests revealed she had ketoacidosis, a rare but potentially life-threatening condition normally seen in people with type 1 diabetes, for which she was treated immediately.

This is where the body starts metabolising fat, leading to the formation of waste products called ketones.

These build up in the blood, causing it to become acidic, which can lead to coma or death if left untreated.

Decades of drinking had also left her with fatty liver disease, they found. 

To discover whether the mystery lumps were cancer, they sent her for scans, and found they were benign lumps of fat beneath the skin on her shoulders, biceps and triceps.

This led to her being diagnosed with Madelung disease - a rare illness usually more common in men, and associated with alcoholism, diabetes, fat disorders, liver disease and people of Mediterranean ancestry.

At first glance, we noticed multiple swellings all over the body - around the neck, upper back and upper extremities, which were very peculiar to the medical team 

Doctors describing the case in the journal BMJ Case Reports 

The symptoms vary greatly from person to person, but it usually causes fatty tissue to accumulate under the skin, leading to a loss of mobility in the neck.

In the majority of cases, the disease is benign; however, lipomas can become cancerous in rare circumstances.

It is not yet understood how heavy alcohol drinking leads to the disease, but in non-alcoholics it may be caused by changes in the DNA in the mitochondria in the cells. 

The woman said she had been aware of her deformities for five years, but they didn’t bother her physically, and she didn’t care how they looked.

Doctors explained she could be treated with liposuction and abstaining from drinking, which may stop its progression.

After much discussion, the woman decided to stop drinking, but was unwilling to have surgery, the report concludes. 

No hiding place for Government Ekpemupolo (Tompolo) as Court renews arrest warrant

Justice Ibrahim Buba of a Federal High Court in Lagos on Monday rejected the plea to set aside the bench warrant issued on January 14 against a former Niger Delta militant leader, Government Ekpemupolo, alias Tompolo.

The judge, in a bench ruling, said the warrant of arrest issued against Tompolo still stood and ordered all the law enforcement agencies in the country to ensure that Tompolo was produced before him on February 19.

Tompolo is wanted by the court over an alleged N34bn fraud, which he allegedly perpetrated in conjunction with nine others.

He is to be arraigned along with his alleged accomplices on 40 counts filed against them by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission.

His alleged accomplices include the immediate-past Director General of the Nigerian Maritime Administration and Safety Agency, Patrick Akpobolokemi.

Tompolo’s accomplice the immediate-past Director General of the Nigerian Maritime Administration and Safety Agency, Patrick Akpobolokemi in court this morning. Video: Saheed Olugbon/PUNCH

Others are Kime Engozu, Rex Elem, Gregory Mbonu and Capt. Warredi Enisuoh.

The suspects were charged along with four companies, namely: Global West Vessel Specialist Limited, Odimiri Electrical Limited, Boloboere Property and Estate Limited and Destre Consult Limited.

The suspects were accused of diverting and converting to their personal use a sum of N34bn belonging to NIMASA.

The offence, according to EFCC, is contrary to Section 18 (a) of the Money Laundering (Prohibition) (Amendment) Act, 2012 and were liable to punishment under Section 15 (3) of the same Act.

The suspects were supposed to have been arraigned on January 14, but Tompolo had shunned a court’s summons dated January 12 to appear, leading the judge to issuing a bench warrant against him.

The judge had ordered that Tompolo should be produced before him on Monday.

But rather than come to court, Tompolo, through his lawyer, Mr. Tayo Oyetibo (SAN), brought an application urging the judge to set aside the arrest warrant issued against him.

While arguing the application, Oyetibo claimed that his client had not been properly served with the charge sheet and the summons.

He claimed that though the court granted the EFCC an order for substituted service, the anti-graft agency only pasted the charge sheet and summons at a wrong address.

He urged the court to rule that his client had not been served and that the bench warrant ought not to have been issued.

Oyetibo also argued that the Federal Government did not obtain the leave of the court to change its designation on the charge sheet from plaintiff to complainant.

But Justice Buba dismissed the application, noting that Oyetibo was in court because he was briefed by Tompolo, and such Tompolo could not claim that he was not aware of the charge pending against him.

The judge described as frivolous the argument that the Federal Government did not first seek the leave of the court before amending its status from plaintiff to complainant in the charge and urged counsel not to waste the time of the court on mere technicalities.

He held, “The entire gamut of this application is for the court to set aside the order granting substituted service of the charge.

“The first defendant missed the point completely. The law is that anybody like the EFCC has the power to arrest anyone if it has reasonable belief that such person has committed an offence.

“On January 12 when the application for substituted service was moved, one of the averments was that the applicant was invited by the EFCC to answer to some allegations, but up till today he has not deemed it fit to honour the invitation.

“It is very clear that the order for substituted service is more than justified against a man who has refused to honour lawful invitation by the EFCC.

“Not only is the accused aware of the charge but has further briefed counsel representing him, who on his behalf, demanded for all processes filed.

“Therefore, all the authorities cited on this issue are, with respect, misconceived. Whether served by substituted means or not, the accused is aware of the charge.

“The application challenging service is misconceived same be and is hereby dismissed.

“The order for arrest still subsists. All authorities in Nigeria are hereby further ordered to ensure that the order of this court for the arrest of Ekpemupolo a.k.a Tompolo  is carried out to the letter.”

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