Jennifer Garner cries out for reconciliation with Ben Affleck - "He's the love of my life”

                                                                    JOHN SHEARER/JOHN SHEARER/INVISION/AP

Actors Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck at the 2013 Oscars.

Despite the ugliness of the past year, Ben Affleck is the love of Jennifer Garner’s life, she tells Vanity Fair in its March issue.

Garner, who has been a class act and quiet as the scandal swirled around her collapsed marriage, talked about keeping her focus, their children and how she feels about her ex.

"He's the love of my life,” she said. “What am I going to do about that? He's the most brilliant person in any room, the most charismatic, the most generous. He's just a complicated guy"

Garner, 43, “didn't marry the big fat movie star; I married him,” she said. "And I would go back and remake that decision."

Promoting her latest film, “Miracles from Heaven,” she comes across as honest, grounded and very real.

It was a day after their 10th anniversary in June, a marriage that has produced Violet, 10, Seraphina, 7, and Sam, 4, that Hollywood’s once golden couple announced they were splitting.

A month later, it was the age-old story: reports that Affleck and the nanny, 28, were having an affair. He has denied it, and the nanny is no longer around.

“We had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny,” she said. “She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce.”

Since, Garner acknowledges she’s had trouble sleeping and their oldest, Violet, often bunks with her.

And as the paparazzi went into a frenzy, she stayed mum. Some took that to mean she didn’t care.

Rather, Garner said, she cared so much she needed to just stop being in the press constantly. “I took a silent oath with myself last summer,” she said.

As of now, Garner has not dated. Getting kissed on set was the first time she had been kissed in eight months.

And she likely won’t date until the divorce is final. Realizing that the dating game has changed, she said: “I want flowers; I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I?”

Given that they have three children and were part of each other’s lives for so long, Garner expects she and Affleck will always have a bond.

“We still have to help each other get through this,” she said. “He’s still the only person who really knows the truth about things. And I’m still the only person that knows some of his truths.”